Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Chapter Five: MyMommy - Miso Horny


Chapter Four: Disco -

   Disco




I.Q.84 - seriously funny

Chapter Three: MyMommy - That Sulfur Smell Is Your Ass

MyMommy walked along the railroad tracks till she got to the main road. There she could see a McDonalds just up the block. She wasn't hungry, she was running late for her appointment with Akio Fujikawa, a business man for a very prestigious video game manufacturer. MyMommy entered the restaurant and walked directly into the bathroom.  She turned into the first stall and hung her backpack on the inside hook of the door. MyMommy stepped down from her high heels and snapped off the garder belt, fishnet stockings and torn panties. She unbuttoned her half shirt and smelled her arm pits. She bunched the shirt and rubbed underneath both arms. Zipping open a pocket on the pack, she pulled out some roll-on antiperspirant and perfume.

One of the toilets next to her flushed. She stopped and waited for the other person to leave. Looking out the stall, she caught a glimpse of an elderly woman staring back MyMommy through a small space between the door and the frame. MyMommy stared back.  "Haven't you ever seen a hoe get ready for work bitch!" MyMommy thought. "It's OK, she hasn't a clue who I am or where I am going."

MyMommy left the McDonalds a whole different person. Short sassy hair cut, big black sunglasses, (The kind that were really popular in the late 70's with super smokey rims and lenses.)  Subdued red lipstick and a very sexy  

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Chapter Two: Disco - Who's Ya Daddy?

   Disco grabbed a handful of video cassettes from the return bin that was connected to the outside wall of the Video Store.  "Wow, pretty busy weekend for movies," he thought, as he continued to stack cassettes onto a rolling cart.  Many American films were also rented. "48 hours", "Tootsie," and one of Disco's favorites; "Blade Runner."  "I think I might have to take you home with me tonight." he said to himself.  Disco always loved the work of  Ridley Scott.  Ridley had an elegant way about directing and was a master of science fiction.  His favorite work being, 1979's Alien. It was such a realistic departure from the clean and polished, "Trek" films that Disco also loved, but it was gritty and real looking. That was why "Star Wars", had appealed so much to Disco. Once, Disco remarked to his friend, "You could really get lost in those worlds on screen."

   Disco pushed the cart to his check-out desk, where he did a cursory inspection of each tape. Opening the opaque vinyl case that held the cassette. Sticking his fingernail in a small slot at the right end the tape to open a slim protective gate that keeps finger prints off the highly sensitive metal oxide tape. He checked for wrinkles or other indications of damage.

   While on his third or fourth tape; Disco started to feel dizzy. His eyes shut and his head moved slowly side to side; then in a circular motion. Disco was having one of his infrequent, "spells". He had these spells ever since his adolescence. Like something deep inside his subconscious was beckoning his attention, trying to make it's presence known.  These spells were usually brought on from exhaustion or during times of high stress.  The doctors he saw couldn't pin point the cause of his ailment, and after many years of searching for an answer, Disco discontinued all medical attempt's to explain them.  Disco blacked out, and an early vision from his earliest childhood appeared.  It was wrong to call it a vision really. It was as though Disco was re-living a moment. As if by concentrating hard enough, he was actually transported back into his younger mind.

Before his young eyes was Discos mother. Young, beautiful, naked, on her hands and knees on the floor of her bedroom.  Her head and large breasts lay on the Tatami; while her sculpted thighs and round ass pointed into the air. Her knees, spread far apart, exposing her red coochie and a black tuft of pubic hair.

Behind Disco's mother was a tiny man; wearing pointy purple sued boots, that curled at the toes. He stood upon a wooden apple box, with the word DELICIOUS!,stenciled in all caps. He was dressed as a mid-evil court jester clown. His heavily painted face was white, with large painted lips and teeth. He wore a yellow, clown suit with large purple tassels and a ruffled collar. Jutting out from his suit was a massive hard penis that had a gold ring with a sharp sounding bell that hung from his pierced bulbous head. The clown cackled while smoking a fat cigar and spiting to his side before shouting; "Who's Ya Daddy? - Who's Ya Daddy? - Who's Ya Daddy?" over and over, laughing and hitting Disco's mother on the ass with a short leather whip. The bell on his penis ringing loudly with each crack on her ass.

    Disco's mother lay sobbing. Tears smearing her eye shadow. Black lines running across her cheeks, small puddles of tears mixed with drool at her lips. Each painful smack of the whip brought a high pitched yipe sound from Disco's mother, and "You're the Daddy!  You're the Daddy! - FUCK ME! - FUCK ME! - FUCK ME!"

 "My father was not a clown", he thought.
"He wasn't a tall man, but he wasn't a midget either.  What is going on? The only living memory of my mother and it has to be this?"

Disco woke up on the floor. He felt a sharp pain on top of his head, that pulsed with each beat of his heart.   He touched it and found it was bleeding. "You OK?" said a young teenage girl crouching down next to him.  "I'll be ok, thank you."

"I saw you over here and you just fell. And I was like Wow! - I think you hit your head on the corner of the desk." the girl said. "I'm ok. I'm ok. Really. Thank you." he said.
"Can I get you some water? I have a bottle of mineral water right here."
 The girl reached into her overly large purse. "It's not even open." The girl smiled as she handed Disco a green glass bottle of "Perrier". 
"It's from France. It's supposed to be good for you."  "Alright, thanks" Disco said, trying to make a polite smile while still in tremendous pain.
"What happened to you anyway?" She continued, "Did you slip or something? She paused, "Did you black out? Did you have a seizure? Are you diabetic and going into diabetic shock or something?" she stood up.

"My uncle? My Uncle Mikio? My Moms brother?

She laughed and said, "Well, I bet you knew that he would be my Mom's brother; so anyway, he is fat! And this one time? A couple years ago? On a really hot day in summer? My uncle Mikio?
He came in our house and I thought he was drunk, cause he looked drunk, - and he tried to say something to me? And fell over and didn't wake up!" The girl stared in disbelief at Disco.

"Can you believe I was only Twelve when this happened?"

 Disco slowly, almost imperceptibly shook his head no.

 "Well, I was! But anyway, my Mom came running in and saw him? Then she like grabbed a coffee cup and like scooped a WHOLE CUP OF SUGAR! and then she POURED COKE INTO IT!! Then she stirred it and POURED IT into my uncles MOUTH!! AND MADE HIM SWALLOW ALL OF IT!!

Can you believe it?"  The girl crouched down into Disco's face.  The girls eyes were wide and face had a huge smile.
                           Disco replied with dry Sarcasm "No, I cannot believe it either."

IT'S TRUE! She shouted. "Yeah, he was low on blood sugar cause he's really fat. Not like you, Mr. ah..... hey! I don't know your name yet!"

 "It's Disco.  Disco Kawasaki." He replied and took a sip of the bottled water.

"Do you OWN a Kawasaki motorcycle, Mr. Disco?  My boyfriend had one and .... " She suddenly got quiet.

The girl stood up like someone pushed a button on a remote control. Her face went blank.  "So anyway, I gotta go now Mr. Disco." She said, grabbing her bag and a clipboard with a 'Mont Blanc' pen, dangling from a string. "I gotta go counting bald guys heads", she said with a huge grin. "I mean, Men with a thinning hair problem."  She laughed and headed for the front door, waving at Disco, still sitting on the floor. "I can't tell you why cause it's a secret Mr. Disco man!"

And with the ding, from the front door's bell she was gone. 







I.Q.84 - seriously funny

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Chapter One: MyMommy - Bad Day To Not Wear Panties

  It was 3'Oclock in the afternoon on the Metropolitan Expressway, the Shinjuku route.
MyMommy was in the back seat of a dark blue taxi, waiting in heavy traffic. This was a normal rush hour for Tokyo, especially in the summer.  MyMommy adjusted her sunglasses and took a delicate a sip from the white paper straw that had a red stripe that swirled down the length of her half full, 7up soda bottle. The tip of the straw was stained pink and was starting to collapse at the top the way all paper straws do after a while.

She checked her gold Gucci watch, the one with the interchangeable bezel rings and the thin, two half circles of gold that meet below the wrist with a fold-over clasp. This watch is the last representation of her Mother's love to MyMommy.  It was given on her 16th birthday. The week MyMommy ran away from home. The watch was still in great shape considering she just turned 30 last week.

 MyMommy was growing impatient with the backed up traffic. She had an appointment with a very important client and could not be late; and could not reschedule, even though her client had no idea she was coming.

   MyMommy leaned forward a bit and turned her head, then twisted her shoulders to the opposite direction, causing her spine to make two loud snaps. Then she sank back into the soft leather seat and let out a long breath and adjusted her hair with her hands.

   The taxi was not the usual Plain Jane Toyota. This was a very large and elegant late model sedan. The ride was impeccable.  MyMommy thought maybe it had some type of custom suspension. It glided across the pavement. She never felt a bump.

 The taxi's finish had a dark rich luster, that looked like it was recently polished by many Japanese high school girls in high heels. Their firm round breasts, would shimmy side to side as they polished the turtle wax into the deep, navy blue metallic paint, that had been perfectly applied to the body shell of the vehicle. MyMommy was not sure why she thought about these young beautiful girls, in bright pink thongs, with high Stiletto heels. Nor did she understand why she wanted to spank their firm perfectly round asses in the golden sunlight on this hot afternoon. "I'm a hoe!", said the leader of the nymph car polishers. "We're all hoes!", said the one with the phony Marilyn Monroe, accent and wig.  "Why should I be thinking about young school girls in thongs, while I am in the back of this luxurious taxi?", MyMommy wondered.

The taxi driver interrupted MyMommy's thoughts with the music of "Yoda," by the great composer, Wierd Al Yankovic.

"I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah,
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda,
S-O-D-A, soda" 

"Wait", MyMommy thought. "I am drinking soda right now! Maybe it's just a coincidence, or maybe this means something".  "Driver", MyMommy shouted. "Turn up the volume on this song!"

 "You, a big Dr. Demento fan lady?" the driver shouted, back through the squeaks and fart sounds of the music. "I have hundreds of tapes from his shows" he said, while holding up a fist full of audio cassettes. "Rolly Polly Fish heads, ah, um... Dead Puppies, Happy Boy by the Beat Farmers!" he carried on.

 "No, but thank you." MyMommy replied. "This was no ordinary car stereo," MyMommy thought. "The hand squeaks and fart sounds have been masterfully reproduced, How can he afford such a luxurious stereo? What size tip will I have to leave him?", she panicked.

 MyMommy, quickly searched through her backpack and into her small wallet. "Twenty Thousand Yen." she thought to herself. "Will that be enough for the ride and the tip?" MyMommy made an imperceptible frown.  "I have to get the hell out of this taxi or I might not have enough money for the fare!" she thought.  MyMommy, closed the snaps on her tan, leather Gucci wallet and pulled out a slender, black shiny hard-shelled, sunglasses case. She carefully opened the case by it's polished gold plated piping that lined the edges all the way around until they met neatly in the back by the hinges. With extreme precision, MyMommy slid her hand painted silk nails past the golden lips of the case, until she could no longer see her elegant fingers.  MyMommy thought her fingers reminded her of when she was sexually experimenting in college with her friend Koko Nashakura. MyMommy wondered what ever happened to Koko and her firm perfectly round breasts and overly long nipples.  "Why am I thinking about Koko's nipples when I am listenting to Yoda, by Wierd Al Yankovic?" she wondered.

Slowly and without the drivers knowledge, MyMommy pulled out a long stainless steel syringe and needle. "I may have to use this before I wanted to." she thought. "If that fare reaches above Twenty Thousand Yen, I will have to jam it into the drivers ear and deep into his brain case and leave a tiny bubble of  ameba protozoa, killing him instantly." she informed herself for no known reason. "Infection will be blamed, not me."  The Yoda song ended and the driver switched his radio to news.

"I told you we shouldn't have gone this way, lady" the driver sniped. "In Tokyo, during rush hour, I knew we would be at a stand still"
"Well, it's ok, I need to get out anyway." MyMommy replied.

"GET OUT?" the driver shouted. "You can't get out on the expressway at anytime, especially when I, am driving!" he snapped.  "No way, where would you go anyway?" he asked.

"It just so happens I am a pothole inspector," she lied. "I have many potholes to inspect."

"Oh, come on, your lying to me. I bet you don't have money for the fare, do you?" he turned and accused MyMommy.

 "I do have the fare for you, but not enough for a tip!" MyMommy faked a cry.

"Alright," said the driver. "I will give you a break, this one time." The driver turned and pointed towards a billboard sign up ahead. "You see the 'Hiney Wine' sign over there?",  he pointed through the windshield. "See where it says, "Grab Some Hiney?" MyMommy looked and nodded.  "Just on the other end of the sign, is little know stairs that leads down to the streets below. From there you can catch a bus or what ever."  he said, with some disgust.

"Thank you very much, I very much am in your gratitude." MyMommy smiled and reached over and gave the driver the twenty thousand yen.  "I see that I haven't put twenty thousand on the meter yet, so keep the rest as a tip" she smiled.

"Domo arigato" he replied. "Now that you gave me a tip, I will give you one." the driver sneered. "After you walk across four lanes of dead traffic in your leopard skin outfit with your spike heels, and across that fence over there; when you get down to where you're going, things might be well.... different." the driver smiled with brown stained teeth and almost no gums. Suddenly looking ten or fifteen years older than he did a moment ago.

"Shit, that's creepy as hell!" MyMommy thought. "Ok, thanks." she said as she pulled on her backpack. But something was pulling MyMommy back inside the taxi! It grabbed her and pulled her back! The driver hissed an evil laugh.

"Something grab your Hiney?" he said as laughing. "I don't know!" she shouted.  MyMommy wrenched and squealed. MyMommy's zebra pattern cotton panties were caught somehow by the rear seat belt. With a quick ripping  sound, MyMommy was free and on the highway.

MyMommy was wearing a short spandex leopard mini skirt that clung just below her butt cheeks, and the torn ring of fabric that used to be her panties bunched around the inside by her waist. She wore a buttoned white cotton half-shirt and gold covered spike heels and black, fishnet stockings with a black garter belt.

MyMommy, made her way across four dead still lanes of backed-up traffic. It looked to MyMommy, like one huge car dealership.
"That is a ton of cars" MyMommy thought. "All of them idling and wasting gas and everyone sucking fumes," she thought. MyMommy made a slight frown.

Just like the creepy taxi guys said, just past the billboard that read "Grab Some Hiney," MyMommy could see the top of some crudely constructed handles sticking up from the top edge of the concrete.  The drivers started to honk as MyMommy made her way over to the fence.

   The wind was fierce and whipped MyMommy's long jet-black hair violently. She took both hands and lifted her hair away from her eyes and tucked as much as she could behind her ears. She tipped her white rim sunglasses upward against her hair to hold it back.  Then she noticed a middle-aged woman in a black Volvo staring at her. The woman's preschool daughter was in pointing and shouting something at her from the back seat, while in the air the Beat Farmers "Happy Boy", emanated from the taxi.

"I was walkin' down the street on a sunny day
hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba
A feelin' in my bones says I'll have my way
hubba hubba hubba hubba hubba" 

"Yes", MyMommy thought, "I have a feelin' in my bones that I am going to have my way too!".  "Well, it's showtime." She said quietly to herself, as she turned and started to walk across the four lanes of  traffic.

Her hips had a natural swing to them, and her high heels clicked and popped against the hot cement.  Some of the male drivers were making kissing and smooching sounds to MyMommy.  "You look hot baby!", one of the truck drivers shouted and honked his horn. MyMommy turned toward the driver and lowered her sunglasses that she held with one hand as she looked over the top of the lenses. She looked directly into the eyes of the driver and stuck her tongue out tauntingly and made a hard lick motion. The drive looked stunned and remained mesmerized as she walked by.  MyMommy reached the wire fence that was lining the upper walls of the highway. 

"Well this is your day for a show buddy," she said to herself. "I guess it's a bad day to not wear panties." she thought. As she kicked off her shoes and put them in her back pack and started climbing. MyMommie's perfectly round, firm ass popped out from the tight spandex skirt, and immediately the car honking went crazy. "I guess they like how hard I do my squats," she thought.

"Ok,"  she said to herself, "You guys get to have one quick peak at my coochie from a distance,  and then I will be over the fence and down the ladder."


MyMommy cleared the chain link fence and started down the long rust stained steel rebar ladder that protruded from the highway wall.  The side of the highway was facing the back of a long old tin paneled building.  MyMommy looked down and could see several rail road tracks below and noticed wild grass and tall weeds with large barbs growing up from the gravel.  The fishnet covered soles of her feet felt funny on the thick bumpy rungs of the rebar. The last rung of the ladder ended a good ten to twelve feet above the long overgrown grass below.

"I am standing on the last rung of the ladder, but it's too high. I could jump from this high, but even from this height, I could break one of my legs or perhaps an arm." MyMommy thought.

Carefully she crouched down to the last rung and while hanging on with both hands she lowered the rest of her body as far as possible. The heat from the afternoon sun seemed twice at hot, bouncing off the bleached white concrete of the highway wall.  MyMommy was starting to feel beads of sweat crawling down her neck and her back. She carefully swung her body back and forth and aimed for a tall grassy spot.. and let go.


I.Q. 84 - seriously funny